My name is Jenna Lazzaro.. Im a driven, focused, hardworking, woman of God.. okay okay this will not be a “corny” “cliché” about me.. Im going to share a little background and reasoning for why i wanted to start a blog and be pretty up front, raw and open in sharing with all who are reading because thats just who i am.. BOLD! There is absolutely no sugarcoating here.. Without boldness i might as well not be who God’s destined me to be..
I’ve always have had a passion for the beauty industry from the moment i started playing with barbies and dressing them and analyzing their makeup that was painted onto their faces ..i remember still from this day, i would sit in front of the tv with my barbies and watch WWE wrestling with my grandfather.. I knew what my passion was for ..it grew in me. Working with women, getting to know all types of women, anything about women what they went through; to the diversity of women whether it was skin tone, body shape, just the uniqueness of each and every woman physically and even what they’ve been through and then the creativity and talent of makeup artistry emerged.
I was raised by a wonderful, caring woman, and by seeing my mothers struggle and strength was a blessing, i would not change it for the world, just being me and her (and God duh!) always. For I’ve learned independence, selflessness, confidence in becoming my own best friend, courage and to perserevere and never give up. All essential foundational characteristics women should be implemented at a young age but some are not. So very grateful for that. Thank you Father, for the mother you’ve provided me with.. Love you forever Mom. Give my grandmother credit as well, for always praying for me and knowing there was always an anointing within me and just being another amazing, beautiful woman in my life ..Love her to pieces, the wisdom she provides is like no other and im grateful for her always planting the seeds in me with growing in the Lord (my first lil church buddy! btw) I look back on when i used to say “okayyyy grandma i gotcha whatever u say” ..to now understanding what she was trying to instill in me all this time, to now living it. I will bring that wisdom unto my children as well and that i hope she gets to meet and nurture with her love to one day like she did with me. And maybe grow in her cooking skills, that’d be nice! Uhh wait about that.. but yeah having a praying mother and grandmother my whole life is defiantly a blessing their prayers are soo valuable.
I always kept to myself, went to school, observed everything from a far, was always shy, very to myself as a little girl.. But as a child i suffered from anxiety, fear and my mind would go a mile a min i never focused at school correctly and couldn’t even go in some days, would have to have someone escort me to the classroom. Suffered from IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) all caused by anxiety and defiantly the devil saw and took advantage of my only child, introvert ways to make me think i was all alone, to the point of negative thinking that sometimes id think i was going to be kidnapped or my mother was going to never come home for whatever horrible reason, yeah at the age of 3 to maybe 20 i thought these things.. As i got older it turned into a new thought, who will love me, i wonder if I’m worthy, lay there in bed at night thinking a mile a minute, playing those r&b jams, crying to myself ..now don’t get me wrong i was still strong and independent and still made my own decisions i wasn’t crippled mentally but these stupid little things would try to attack me to make me not prosper throughout the day, not knowing deep, deep down it was really manifesting over time with the actions i was choosing to take ..no matter how much i thought i was “okay” i really had things boiling up that i never realized.. anger was stirring up, stress, bitterness, stubbornness, and that it must go my way or the highway! if it didn’t i was a frustrated mess. See there was always potential and purpose but i was allowing certain things to come into my head and emotions take over at random moments.
Later on, I’ve always dated/attracted men who hmm how would u say it umm “needed fixing”, thinking i was going to be “wonder woman” of some sort.. Whether it was a drug habit, a needy man in search of obsessing over the idea of a good woman, someone who had anger, someone who’s life just wasn’t all the way together, and no i’m not talking bad about anyone i’ve dated but the fact that i am grateful i did.. that i’m grateful of the things ive experienced before knowing the Lord because it taught me a lot.. Well once again would get hurt when i didn’t understand why they wouldn’t want a woman like me? I put my all into nothing.. “Why are they rejecting me?” “What is going on? “Is there something wrong with me?” “Ugh why is everyone the same?” ..Here we go again with the “mind control” and opening the door for the words of the enemy. I was seeking “dead” things and man, not because i needed one but because i tried filling my anxiety with something else.. causing more anxiety and sadness unto myself. Thankful for God’s grace for allowing to close the doors and myself realizing what he was doing nd making the choice to leave my last relationship about a year and half ago and to choose my first love to be Jesus, my Savior, my comforter, the one who created me, who was beaten and tortured so that we can live free in Him and free from OURSELVES and sin. Thats all he wants, that was the one thing i was missing was a relationship with Him.. it was time to break the cycle and only through Christ you can do that, no therapist can help, no alcoholic beverage can, no “blunt” can, no sexual impartation can, no one, nothing but His grace and mercy.. PRAISE HIM!
Back in July 2013, after the breakup; I prayed for 3 months straight and cried every night for 3 months straight saying this, “God please show me more of you, just bring me closer to you, i want to know you more i’m just tired of this i really cant do it on my own” then I had a sudden awakening.. even though i was seeking him I was still putting all my voids into a new relationship i started ..worrying still, wondering, etc. (even though the person I was interested in was new, nothing was really new) Well I was in his bed and shot up in the middle of the night, felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest and stomach and almost coming out of it like a pressure feeling. I thought it was indigestion or heartburn from a bbq i went to the night before, tried throwing up thinking id feel better and relieve it but nope, nothing. Couldn’t even lay down the pressure was so bad i didn’t know what was going on so i just forced myself to fall asleep. I decided to go to the hospital and after 5 hrs later of tests and waiting, the doctor and cat scan tech came to a conclusion.. i had internal bleeding coming from a blood-filled cyst on my ovary.. now i never had that my doctor never saw that ..soo where did that come from i’ve recently asked myself.. basically from all the worry and nonsense where usually it manifests into something to try and destroy you or a sickness. So we rushed into surgery, because the pressure from the blood was rising to my neck and if we waited my brain, the doctor told me if i didn’t come in when i did and waited, i wouldn’t be here. It was very overwhelming and i didn’t even know what to think i just cried and signed consent papers stating permission of possibly taking out my ovaries all together and consent if i didn’t make it through the surgery.. yeah i was a mess. Here came an anxiety attack and i felt myself gasping for air it got soo bad i was working myself up for no reason. i stayed in the hospital for 4 days after my surgery.. it was the third day i decided to turn on the tv to Joel Osteen (this was all God btw!) and he was speaking on knowing your purpose especially if you get a second chance and that things of our past will flee and we can live for the Lord in peace and victory.. I looked away from the tv in awe.. I was like wow.. I am alive ..my prayer was answered basically.. how can i not recognize that God was in this the whole time.. definatly do not give myself all the credit.. it was all to wake me up all the things one after another.. my surgery, two breakups after another and to know i defeated the devil for he wanted to take me out and not live my purpose given life. I give God thanks everyday!
To this day, i see what my purpose is now.. im grateful for that at my age, for the wisdom and understanding and full on love for Christ and being born again and surrendering it all for Him and Him alone. He knows the days of my life, he knows what im called for.. Everyday is a new day to make a choice, i chose to live for Him because life is too short, living a “yolo” lifestyle is a lost lifestyle and id rather live knowing i’m cleansed, a made a new therefore meaning, nothing of my “old life” leave any old habits that are not of God (sex before marriage, cursing, pleasing my flesh in anyway, revealing clothing, the people i surround myself with, smoking weed, etc the list goes on and on) I will live accordingly to God and go to Him and Him alone for any decision i want to make.. i will cleanse my words make them words of love and know what it is to live in peace and victory in all aspects. and will serve eternity in the Kingdom rather than living how i want and live in the “world” here.. Making a difference and now seeing the blessings and people i’ve helped and will help guide, has encouraged me already so far and i claim it’s the reason why im here and i will become all God wants me to be.. I am not ashamed of my past. Period. Im in my profession for a reason, constantly being called to at times even plant the seeds unto other women so they can understand Gods love and receive it and not live in bondage and get caught up in the world and most importantly know that they are not alone.
Ive come a long way, Went to MUD Makeup Designory in Soho in 2009, where i took various makeup courses and i continue to work at Ulta Beauty as a prestige consultant/makeup artist and cant wait for the blessings and callings im going to endure.. God guide my steps toward what is of You through discernment and i will continue to praise You all the days of my life! Praying on a makeup line in the near future and to maybe even go back to school.. LETS DO THIS!! =) Ready for the things you have for my life Lord! Stay tuned!
Life is such a beautiful journey. You don’t know where God might lead you.. I am beyond blessed and grateful He lead me to where I am and to become who I am today and will continue to in everyday to come. I hope and pray someone will be touched by this, for I believe I did go through certain obstacles and journeys not to just strengthen, benefit and teach myself but to witness to fellow women; that they also are not alone.. God Bless!! XO